i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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