Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
