I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
