The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
