rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
being pregnant is like rehab
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
