Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
