i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You ruined the universe
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
