Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
