I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
