Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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