Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
