ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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