oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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