from now on my penis is your penis
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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