We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
