I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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