I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
