i can't believe i had my finger in that
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize