Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
