I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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