So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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