The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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