guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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