Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
