So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
