My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
