Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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