I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
