Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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