Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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