he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt