the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas