I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar