I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
