So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
