The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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