We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
