I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
