I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
