Christians are straight up FREAKS
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
