is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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