Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
even my farts smell like vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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