Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
