The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
