I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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