In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
