Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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