Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
