What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
