you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
