yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love accidental penises.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
