please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
