Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
