Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
