You made me cry and you don't even care
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
