I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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