just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
