We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
