life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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