I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
