K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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