i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
