idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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