Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
