He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think your dad took our porno
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
