My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
