I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I sprained my soul last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
